tis-knight-time:

booty-uprooter:

eowyns ‘i am no man/you look upon a woman’ moment is great iconic and all that, but how fucking funny would it have been if shed just killed wk without bothering to bring up the loophole she was about to exploit and just let him die all confused about wtf just happened

#witch king: no living man can kill me!#eowyn: *stabs him in the face*#witch king (dying): hey what the fuck. dude. what the fuck. how did you did that. dude-  (x)

Pearl in SU like

insomniac-arrest:

cipheramnesia:

anneuhken-deactivated20200828:

anneuhken-deactivated20200828:

anneuhken-deactivated20200828:

anneuhken-deactivated20200828:

anneuhken-deactivated20200828:

anneuhken-deactivated20200828:

my kid has started to write stories and like, no lies, they’re funny as fuck

actual dialogue:

“to your battle stations, boys! it’s time to line up and see who’s tall enough for the roller coaster to hell!! some of us may not survive this, but the ones that do will get the ultimate reward…. paid.”

“here’s a penny for your thoughts, and a quarter to not tell me them”

B A B E

“everyone knows those quiet girls. the ones who never say anything at school unless a teacher makes them. the ones who you see every day but don’t know what they sound like when they laugh. lindsey is not one of those girls, but the teacher wishes she was.”

“lindsey was always loud, especially when she was being kind. she didn’t smile at people to make them happier, she screamed all the reasons they shouldn’t be sad. it was hard not to listen.”

i can’t wait to read this book tbh

thanks for all the love!!

the story is part one in a series she’s gonna write called “the 23 islands” and it’s about a planet with 23 island like lands that have like….. nothing around them?? an unknown drop and total darkness surrounding them, and each island is like a different thing?? idk how to explain it but one island is like an ancient rainforest and one is snowy mountains and one is like still in the middle ages but another has flying cars??? and it’s about a group of friends trying to find a way off their island because it’s dangerous there, and hopefully to a more habitable one??? i guess they don’t find it tho because each book is a different island

These are all amazing.

you know what’s good? when you have a meat and a sauce and you eat it with a rice. thank you for listening

asundergrowth:

kaispeakshermind:

asundergrowth:

asundergrowth:

just-watch-me-hachiko:

madness-to-my-method:

airborneranger63:

airborneranger63:

Do u ever think about how dogs, who have 2 colour receptors, see an apple as grayish yellow, while humans have 3 and see it as red, and mantis shrimp have 12, and see it another monstrous colour altogether?

How none of us are necessarily correct, and the apple itself, is not really any colour, it’s just a fruit minding its own goddamn business??

Fucking fascinating

We don’t know how ANYTHING TASTES, SOUNDS, LOOKS, FEELS, OR SMELLS

If you think about it just a bit too much like I did, you’ll reach the conclusion that nothing really tastes, sounds, looks, feels or smells. It’s just your brain’s interpretation of chemical composition, vibrations, the way things reflect light, more vibrations and chemical composition again

Reality can’t be proven to exist outside of our ability to perceive it through our senses but our senses can’t be trusted so basically nothing is real do what you want

Today on Tumblr Accidentally Recapitulates Wittgenstein’s Theory of Experiential Epistomology

Tfw you shitpost so hard you accidentally write a beautiful summary of the defining breakthrough of 20th century philosophy.

I mean yeah but the reason we say that something looks red or tastes sour or smells sweet or feels sharp or sounds harmonious is because we are a social, communal species, and in order for a community to function we need some sort of communication.

“We don’t know how anything tastes, sounds, looks, feels, or smells” maybe so but we as a human race have developed names for what we collectively perceive.

Philosophy and deep thinking is good but try not to negate language altogether in the process.

But when I say “red” how do you know we are referring to the same thing? My red might be your green, or vice versa.

If two blind men felt an elephant, where one felt the trunk and the other felt the tusk, they would both have radically different ideas of what an elephant is. One would say elephants are wrinkly and strong, the other would say they are smooth and hard.

Just because they both agree that theyve touched an elephant doesn’t mean their conceptions of an elephant are even vaguely similar.

If they gained their sight later in life, and you asked them to draw what an elephant looks like, they would draw radically different things.

The point is that language is a useful tool for describing things to each other, it cannot be negated becausee there is no capital T Truth underneath it. It is literally just our best guess.

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

……… different fantasy races should be impacted differently by each other’s alcohol

no more if this “fine elvin wine” shit, I am going to personally write a fantasy setting in which every human knows that elf booze tastes and feels like fantasy la croix. there’s barely even a flavor, and you’d need to drink a few to even get tipsy.

meanwhile, every human with a lick of common sense knows that you need to plan accordingly if you’re going to be drinking dwarven liquor, because it hits you hard and fast and you’ll lose feeling in your legs faster than you thought was physically possible. the hangovers are the stuff of legend.

the flip side is that elves are an entire race of (comparative) lightweights, and a whole gaggle of teenange elves can get piss drunk passing around one bottle of fruity human wine

I think there’s some compatability among drinks brewed by reptilian races (dragonborn, lizardfolk, tortles, kobolds, etc) although you run into similar translation issues as mammalians, but there is absolutely no crossover. like if a drsgonborn and a dwarf in a (very cosmopolitan) tavern were to switch drinks it would be a nonstarter.

“this is basically just a capri sun,” the dragonborn says, disappointed.

“cool, I’m pretty sure I just drank actual paint thinner,” the dwarf says. “get me to a hospital.”

humans and halflings are probably the most compatible drinkers of any two races, although halflings find most human wines, beers, ciders, etc, a little too dry and bland for their liking. halfling alternatives are very sweet, which makes them a huge hit among the ‘I like alcohol but I don’t want it to taste like alcohol’ crowd

I think it would be very funny if being drunk was like… a relatively new cultural development for gnomes? there’s just something about their wacky gnomish constitution that prevented them coming by it naturally (traditionally they’re more into a variety of mushrooms and other recreational plants) but once they started mingling more with more alcohol-happy races they learned VERY quickly and started opening, basically, turbo-breweries that are basically one part distillery and one part wizard tower. VERY popular job for young alchemists trying to make some good money, and the reason why gnomes are known (among other things) for operating the craziest night clubs

here’s who I think should be able to get drunk but become sober at will:

1.) sufficiently powerful paladins and clerics

2.) aasimar [all of them]

2.) very very few tieflings. it’s not universal at all, but few tiefling traits are. I know 5e has really solidified them as horns + tails + inhuman skin color but we need to be making them weirder 

feministism: